Vai al contenuto

Think before you speak...


ACS

Messaggi Raccomandati:

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,

"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men’s balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."

My sister started to laugh hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY :

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now,

I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.

An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic"

(John Fitzgerald Kennedy)

"We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile!"

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts!"

Link al commento
Condividi su altri Social

hihihihihihi bellissime

  • Ieri: Fiat Panda 900 Young (1998) - AB Y10 II Avenue (1993) - Fiat Panda 1.2 DynamicClass (2004) - Fiat Punto Evo 1.4 GPL (2010)
  • Oggi: Ford Focus SW 1.6 Tdci 90cv (2009) e Lancia Ypsilon 1.2 (2016)
  • Ieri: Aprilia Rally II L.C. 50cc (1996) - Piaggio Vespa PX 150 (2002) - Honda Hornet 600 II (2006)
  • Oggi: Honda Hornet 600 III (2007) e Piaggio Vespa PX 150 (2000)
Link al commento
Condividi su altri Social

L'ultima non e' male..in fondo e' pubblicita' gratuita!!!

Ricordo: 1 pollice = 2,54 cm

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic"

(John Fitzgerald Kennedy)

"We are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile!"

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts!"

Link al commento
Condividi su altri Social

Crea un account o accedi per lasciare un commento

Devi essere iscritto per commentare e visualizzare le sezioni protette!

Crea un account

Iscriviti nella nostra community. È facile!

Registra un nuovo account

Accedi

Sei già registrato? Accedi qui.

Accedi Ora
×
×
  • Crea Nuovo...

 

Stiamo sperimentando dei banner pubblicitari a minima invasività: fai una prova e poi facci sapere come va!

Per accedere al forum, disabilita l'AdBlock per questo sito e poi clicca su accetta: ci sarai di grande aiuto! Grazie!

Se non sai come si fa, puoi pensarci più avanti, cliccando su "ci penso" per continuare temporaneamente a navigare. Periodicamente ricomparità questo avviso come promemoria.