La (tragicomica) rassegna stampa di Autopareri

[stev66]

Pare che alain sti sia dando a gesti apotropaici

[Walker]

C'è un'altra componente tragicomica nascosta!

Leggete la programmazione TV. Si salvano solo i cartoni e C.S.I. :lol:

[pennellotref]

Direi che è proprio questo il posto giusto per un articolo del genere (con buona pace dei Dott. Dudenhoeffer e Wormald):

Jeep and Alfa Romeo will be ordered to lead the charge for Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) as the recently merged company seeks to crank up profits and sales to challenge global leaders like General Motors, Toyota and Volkswagen.That’s the message investors are likely to hear from CEO Sergio Marchionne early next month when he outlines the new industrial plan for the new company which emerged after the $4.35 billion deal last January to buy the rest of Chrysler formerly owned by the UAW.

Upwards of $5 billion will have to be spent on Fiat’s Alfa Romeo as it seeks to at least be the poor man’s BMW, Mercedes or Audi. Current weaknesses in China, India and Russia will be shored up.

Fiat’s investment-starved and weak product line-up in Europe will be resuscitated. Maybe a dirt cheap third world car will be announced. Perhaps some subtle overtures to join forces will be made to other relatively small-time loners in the automotive business like Mazda, Mitsubishi, Suzuki, Subaru of Japan, or even luxury car pretender Jaguar Land Rover, the British based and Indian owned maker of upmarket SUVs, luxury sedans and sports cars. And above all, any targets offered must be seen to be attainable, unlike some offered as recently as 2010, which called for 6.6 million sales by 2014. Last year the two companies only reached 4.4 million.

The storied but neglected and tarnished Alfa Romeo brand was supposed to reach 500,000 by 2014, with 85,000 in America. Last year Alfa Romeo produced a total of 75,400 cars globally, down from 92,100 in 2012, according to Automotive Industry Data. Sales in the U.S. will now start with a trickle of highly priced and weird looking little 4C sports cars later this year.

Six, seven million

Marchionne has said that FCA must raise volume to compete with the giants, and this means sales of at least six, perhaps seven million a year. Investors will also expect FCA to address its debt problem. Some reports have said this debt costs the company around $2.7 billion a year to service.

Analysts are mainly wary but positive about FCA’s future, but Professor Ferdinand Dudenhoeffer of the Center for Automotive Research (CAR) at Germany’s University of Duisberg-Essen warns Marchionne that he will have to concentrate on raising the standards of products and eschew his propensity for badge engineering.

“Marchionne always seems to think as an investment banker and not a manager who understands the car industry. He needs to have a clear idea of product and of the unique selling proposition of the product, and he can’t do that with scale economics. You need to build up buyers over 10 years with clearly defined products and I don’t see any of that with Marchionne,” Dudenhoeffer said.

Don't stack high, sell cheap

Dudenhoeffer points to Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) as an example of how to reignite a car company. Stacking ‘em high and selling ‘em cheap is not the way to go.

“Ford sold Jaguar Land Rover for $2.3 billion and now it has equity of $8 billion. They make margins of about 12 percent. What happened was not so complicated and had nothing to do with scale. They hired good managers, mainly from (German premium leader) BMW, raised quality and invested in new products. They didn’t come up with cost savings or scale economies,” Dudenhoeffer said.

“Marchionne looks for scale economies and this is not the right approach. He’s just using labels, like selling Chrysler cars in Europe as Fiats or Lancias,” Dudenhoeffer said.

The Lancia brand is a once famous pan-European sporty brand, which has now mainly retreated back to Italy.

Richard Hilgert, analyst with Chicago stock-broker Morningstar, doesn’t buy the argument that Marchionne is a bean-counter rather than a car-guy.

“I’ve listened to his presentations and I think his enthusiasm shows he gets it when it comes to product,” Hilgert said.

Hilgert says FCA has the potential to get to six or seven million annual sales, but it will take more investment in China, a return to peak volumes in Europe after years of decline, and a solid recovery in Brazil where Fiat has traditionally been strong. Hilgert doesn’t expect to hear about any merger activity, but does muse about the possibility of FCA getting together with JLR. He sees the resurrection of Alfa Romeo as crucial to FCA’s development, but reckons the 500,000 target was over the top.

VW-Audi playbook

“I would be happy to see Alfa Romeo do at least half that much, while U.S. sales won’t start to really get under way until 2016. FCA should follow the VW-Audi playbook to develop Alfa Romeo as a premium brand, although it has been riddled with quality problems in the past,” Hilgert said.

Volkswagen of Germany took 20 years to establish its Audi subsidiary as the equal of BMW and Mercedes, using well hidden VW content to keep prices down and profits high.

Pierluigi Bellini, Turin-Italy based IHS Automotive analyst, points out that although Fiat missed targets, the Chrysler side of the business did well, particularly SUV maker Jeep, which he says has the potential to be a global player, along with Alfa Romeo.

“Reviving Alfa Romeo will take perhaps 4 billion euros ($5.5 billion) but volume will peak at 220,000 in 2018, or perhaps as high as 250,000 but not much more than that, with U.S. sales of 40,000 to 50,000,” Bellini said.

Bellini doesn’t expect Marchionne to sell its famous Ferrari high-priced sports car subsidiary or its up and coming Maserati brand. Russia and Indian markets have been neglected and need attention. China is now improving for FCA.

Part of the pie

“Long term the crucial point is Alfa Romeo. If they make Alfa into a contender, not quite like the three Germans, they should be able to catch a part of the pie, and Jeep is very well positioned. They need a more efficient financial structure, but it all depends on product,” Bellini said.

Another long-term Fiat Chrysler skeptic is John Wormald, analyst with British automotive consultancy Autopolis, who agrees with CAR’s Dudenhoeffer that product, not volume is the key. Wormald said FCA’s debt is so high, even selling off the crown jewels like Ferrari and Maserati wouldn’t make much of dent in the number.

“If they really want to get rid of the debt perhaps they should sell Chrysler, which is profitable and much bigger,” Wormald said.

Wormald pointed out that Fiat in Europe is surrounded by other wounded giants which have racked up massive losses during the six year sales downturn, and all desperate to return to the black. Last week, Peugeot of France announced its recovery plan, which centered on cutting models out of the overblown line-up, and attempting to move up market with its newly minted “DS” brand. At least Alfa Romeo has a bit more of a ring to it than “DS”.

“Ford and (GM Europe’s) Opel Vauxhall are trying to get themselves the right way up again. Renault (of France) as well. There are too many players, too much capacity chasing limited markets that are reviving very slowly. Something has to give; until Fiat grabbed the (Chrysler) life raft it was high on the list of those likely to go. I’ve got great admiration for Marchionne, but even he can’t defeat the laws of gravity. If he talks about growing and building more cars, I shall remain very skeptical,” Wormald said.

No illusions

Despite misgivings, Morningstar’s Hilgert emerges as an optimist for FCA, just.

“I’m well aware of the many downfalls and pitfalls and concerns with this company, so I have no illusions about the fact that it still has issues to deal with; a highly leveraged balance sheet, and lack of cash to fund new product development and more efficient manufacturing operations. But analysts have been overly negative,” Hilgert said.

CAR’s Dudenhoeffer isn’t sure if FCA will be a big headache for Toyota, GM and VW five years down the line.

“It has to fix China and look for a partner or a merger partner. It is a company with a lot of risk. It needs a more clear cut approach from the product side and less of an investment banking approach for the car business,” Dudenhoeffer said.

From The Detroit News: Jeep, Alfa Romeo expected to spearhead Marchionne's Fiat Chrysler plan | The Detroit News

N.B.:ho un po' ragione.......o sono il solito "italiota" affetto da manie di persecuzione ?

Modificato 27 Aprile 2014 da pennellotref

[Ario_]

Scusate, sono un pivello, lo ammetto...

...potreste spiegarmi qual è la parte tragicomica ?

Le date, la nazionalità, il circuito, il numero di campionati vinti sono corretti, la foto pure, mi sembra...

Per la prima volta in vita mia mi sono accorto della somiglianza tra i due!

[Sandro]

Non ci sono strafalcioni né orrori assortiti, ma trovo che vada bene messa qui:

Foto e sms piccanti, impazza il sesso 2.0 - Tlc - ANSA.it

[TonyH]

Ah adesso si chiama Sesso 2.0

Sono antiquato.

Io ero rimasto a "farsi delle gran seghe"

[Ario_]

Ah adesso si chiama Sesso 2.0

Sono antiquato.

Io ero rimasto a "farsi delle gran seghe"

Leggendo i commenti dei depressissimi parrebbe proprio di sì!

[owluca]

Non ci sono strafalcioni né orrori assortiti, ma trovo che vada bene messa qui:

Foto e sms piccanti, impazza il sesso 2.0 - Tlc - ANSA.it

la recensione del cruise control a 200 km/h andava messa altrove

[pennellotref]

German Reliability: The Greatest Myth Ever Sold to American Car Buyers

German Reliability: The Greatest Myth Ever Sold to American Car Buyers

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As a journalist, I feel that it's my duty to provide you, the reader, with carefully researched columns that employ unbiased facts to present multiple sides of today's most complex issues. So today I'm going to use a lot of hyperbole and anecdotal evidence to write about German cars.

I came up with the idea for today's column – that the only thing less reliable than a German car is a Happy Meal wristwatch – a few weeks ago while talking to a German friend. He told me, with absolutely no hint of irony in his voice (because Germans don't have the capacity for irony; just cleanliness), that modern German cars will "last forever." He was also stunned when I began violently coughing after several minutes of uncontrollable laughter.

For some reason, Germans still believe this stuff. They actually think that modern German cars, which use the same technology for cruise control as our government uses to monitor the skies for impending nuclear warfare, will still be running perfectly in 20 years.

I have two potential theories for why Germans feel this way. One is that Germans actually know the cars are crap, but they refuse to slander Germany, so they can't ever mention this. So they go home at night and lie awake thinking about how their power trunk closer has stopped working, and now they'll have to carry around their luggage in the backseat whenever a foreigner is nearby.

The other theory is that these cars actually will live on, perfectly preserved, in Germany. This is because Germans always maintain things perfectly, in perpetuity, which is sort of contrary to how we behave here in America. For example: if a check engine light goes on in Germany, a German will rush to the dealership and have it fixed. Whereas an American will resolve the check engine light by a) going to Home Depot for some electrical tape to cover it up, and visiting McDonald's on the way home.

But regardless of the reason, Germans really do think their cars are built to last forever. And here's the thing: it's not only Germans who feel this way. There's also a small contingent of Americans who will tell you – no matter how hard you argue against it – that German cars will last "a million miles" without ever needing a major service. These are usually the people who get a new S-Class every three years.

Now, before we get into the reality of the situation, I'd just like to say that I understand where all of these perceptions of German car reliability come from. Mainly, they come from the old days, when German cars actually were more reliable than foreign rivals, and they were built like tanks, and evil dictators would cruise around in them because they could withstand nuclear attack and come out totally unscathed, except for those little flags mounted on the front bumpers.

But let's be honest here, folks: this is no longer the case. And it hasn't been the case for a long time.

For proof, I start with my own experience owning German cars. I've owned eight, in total: one from every important German automaker, and also Volkswagen. And they were all complete pieces of crap.

OK, so maybe they weren't that bad. Oh, sure, the transmission died in one of them. And yeah, so I had to replace the ignition switch in another, and a differential in a third. There were failed window regulators, check engine lights, prematurely worn suspension components, and phantom tire pressure monitors. And my Mercedes G-Wagen suffered throttle response problems until I realized it was rusty enough to be a Civil War-era shipwreck. But they were great when they were working, right?

Unfortunately, this is the greatest problem with German cars: they're never working. Oh, sure, they have relatively few problems for the first few years of ownership. (Technically defined as: "Right up until the Thursday after the warranty expires.") But even then, you're still losing an insane amount of money in depreciation. And once the depreciation curve starts to flatten, the problems start to crop up, which means you can't safely own a German car for more than an afternoon without spending as much money as round trip airfare to Bermuda.

Of course, my own anecdotal experiences aren't my only evidence here. We also have years of JD Power Long Term Dependability Studies, which routinely place American or Japanese cars into the top dependability spots, while German cars go into entirely different categories, such as Broke Down on the Way to Test Facility.

The main problem, as I see it, is that the Germans are just too obsessed with stuffing all sorts of newfangled gizmos into their cars. This is largely because no one questions the prowess of German engineering; they're still the best at that. So they continue to show their engineering dominance by creating all sorts of crazy gadgets and sticking them in the cars; stuff that no one wants, such as cooled gloveboxes, and rear armrest refrigerators, and those little tray tables that fold down, presumably to allow people riding in the back of an Audi A8 to do some cocaine.

For a better example of this, I turn to the first-generation Audi Allroad, which was an all-wheel drive station wagon that went on sale here in America during the fall of 2000.

While most companies would be content with simply building an all-wheel drive station wagon, Audi couldn't do just that. They had to do more. They couldn't just have normal suspension, for instance. They had to have adjustable suspension that would raise and lower to allow Connecticut families to traverse grass parking lots at lacrosse games. They couldn't just have a typical automatic transmission; it had to offer manual shifting capability. And they couldn't just have a regular V6 engine – they had to add two turbochargers.

The result, as I'm sure you can imagine, is that the suspension failed, the transmissions went bad, and every single remaining V6 Allroad is currently leaking oil through its turbochargers, except the ones that are up on blocks because of bad suspension and a blown transmission. All of this, by the way, was in addition to your usual set of Audi problems, such as – this one actually happened to me – turn signals that don't blink, but rather stay lit when you press the lever.

For this reason, I have taken to measuring automotive reliability on a scale I've dubbed the "Audi Allroad Scale Of Unreliability," which rates cars based on how close they are to the original Audi Allroad in terms of potential for random four-figure maintenance bills. For example: the Lexus ES300 is pretty low on the Audi Allroad Scale Of Unreliability. Whereas a vehicle made entirely by chimpanzees provided with random car parts would be almost as bad as the Allroad. Maybe even worse if the chimpanzees are German.

@DougDeMuro is the author of Plays With Cars. He owned an E63 AMG wagon and once tried to evade police at the Tail of the Dragon using a pontoon boat. (It didn't work.) He worked as a manager for Porsche Cars North America before quitting to become a writer, largely because it meant he no longer had to wear pants. Also, he wrote this entire bio himself in the third person.

:lol: :rotfl:

[Matteo B.]

abbastanza vero...

comunque i tedeschi negli ultimi 10-15 anni sono crollati nell'affidabilità. prima erano nettamente meglio.

-troppi modelli

-troppa ricerca della sofisticazione/superpotenza nei motori.